Confessions can lead to brutally crushing heartbreak. The Mountain and The Viper’s Best Moments. Safe for non-book readers.
Sunday night’s Game of Thrones was like a brutally crushing blow to every sense in the body. The Mountain and The Viper, was one big roller coaster with extraordinary ups like seeing Sansa growing up into a Catelyn-like replica, to the deathly plummeting downs of seeing Oberyn get the brains squeezed out of him. It felt like I was watching some demented alternate Princess Bride movie as Oberyn continued to bate The Mountain to confess. This was no Inigo Montoya saying, “My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die”.
Even though The Mountain and The Viper was mostly agonizing and frustrating for our beloved characters, let’s start out with a little love.
Pillar and The Stones
This is the second time we’ve seen a love connection between Missandei and Grey Worm. But the question we’ve been wondering about was posed this week, did the masters take “the pillar and the stones” from the Unsullied?
I hear from some of my book friends that Missandei and Grey Worm’s affections are not necessarily in the books. I wonder if they’ll continue to develop this love story? But, probably one of them will die some horrible death and George R.R. Martin will tweet us saying, “ha, and you thought there would be a happy ending!”
Like in Game of Thrones fashion one lovely moment is followed by emotionally crushing heartbreak. For the first real big blow lets discuss Dany’s reaction to Ser Jorah’s betrayal. Yes, she was betrayed by one of her most faithful servants, but after everything they have been through, was her reaction justified? I wonder if it would have been more effective if she’d asked him to prove himself by killing an enemy of hers. But as we know from episode seven, “Mockingbird,” Daenerys is more level headed with Ser Jorah as her advisor.
Can Ser Barristan take that spot? Ultimately, Tywin won this battle. Dany did exactly what he wanted her to do, by sending off her best advisor. She’s lost two advisors in the last two episodes. Where do you think Ser Jorah will go? Is this the start of Dany’s fall? I hope he finds a way to fight for her, because she really does need him.
Sansa, Meet Maleficent
I believe this is the first time Petyr Baelish is actually impressed. Was his look to Sansa of admiration or simple lust during the jury proceedings? Whatever it was, Sansa sure did play her part, I just loved her confidence in this episode.
When Sansa enters the smallest courtroom ever to testify as a witness in Lysa’s death, I thought we’d get the same childlike girl we’ve seen since the beginning of Thrones. She definitely gives Baelish a few mini heart attacks during her testimony, but she mostly tells truths with a few trickled deceitful lies to help Baelish out of this mess.
Last week, I assumed that Sansa would help Baelish, because it would ultimately keep her safe. Do you think she’s going too far into the deep end? How far is she willing to go? That black feathery dress, that seemed inspired by another queen at the box office this weekend, transformed Sansa into an ominous character. Sansa was definitely highlighting her darker hair, perhaps to remind Baelish of Catelyn Stark? She wasn’t kidding when she said, “I know what you want”. So creepy, and so good!
Crushing Heads and Bleeding Hearts
Forty-two minutes in and we finally arrive to King’s Landing for the most anticipated scenes of the season. We get another great speech from Tyrion and Jaime. The conversation starts out with a friendly banter, but leaves you with the second sign of heartbreak. From the way he leaves the Red Keep. I think it was our third sign, of many, telling us this episode is not going to end the way we hoped.
Though the conversation continued for what seemed like eternity regarding dead beetles and a moron, maybe it was Tyrion’s way of figuring out why he was an imp. He only felt normal by laughing at his own cousin, because it was what everyone else did. In a life of cruelty maybe he was looking for meaning to senseless acts of death.
Tyrion’s face was devastatingly sad as he spoke of being tired of seeing flying beetle limbs being smashed, piled up, and dried out, simply to just go right back into the dirt. Was this speech our fourth sign, or just a way to keep his mind off his fate? The moment comes, the bells begin to ring and everything becomes somber.
Fancy Maneuvers Doesn’t Get You Far
As soon as Oberyn began to talk I became overly nervous. My palms started to sweat, and I grabbed a hold of my boyfriends leg and didn’t let go. Just how the episode started as a roller coaster, it ended the same.
I found myself fist pumping when Oberyn slashes off The Mountain’s helmet, rips his achilles, and then the final dagger of his spear penetrating through the armor into The Mountain’s chest. Yes! Yes!
But wait. No. Oberyn stop talking. Stop asking him to confess, he can’t die that quickly. Oberyn gets too close, and as Bronn said to Tyrion one bad move against The Mountain you find yourself dead.
The Mountain sweeps Oberyn off his feet and like a rag doll grabs him by the head, and punches all his teeth out of his head. The camera turns to Tyrion’s face and we see it go from nervous, to relief, to pure devastation. The Mountain continues to squeeze the life out of Oberyn until his skull literally pops.
The spilled teeth across the arena, Oberyn’s crushed skull, Cersei’s damn triumph smile, and Tywin’s final words of Tyrion’s death sentence, it was too much to handle. I can only imagine the gurgles coming out of my throat, because I couldn’t even speak. I just quietly stood up and poured myself a very large-cougar-town style glass of wine**. I believe the headache is finally subsiding.
In what is one of the most brutal things I have ever seen on TV, I still can’t put into words the loss of another favorite character. Oh, we are just unfortunate souls for watching this show. I almost wanted to start signing the Little Mermaid’s Unfortunate Souls, but that song is still not sad enough. I just want to go to my happy place with beer and goodness. Game of thrones if you kill Jon Snow next week I think I will keel over like Vizzini in the Princess Bride.
Do you think Tyrion will die next week? Leave your comments below, please no book spoilers. I leave you with my favorite quotes and happy videos to get us out of our somber moods.
The Mountain and The Viper’s Best Quotes
“Speak up girl you’re not a damn kitchen mouse tell us what you saw” – Lord Royce
“You’ll never be alone with her again” – Ser Barristan
“I don’t want you in my city alive or dead” – Daenerys Targaryen
“Come Reek I’ll be needing a bath” – Ramsay Bolton
“Don’t leave me alone in this world” – Ellaria Sand
“Size doesn’t matter when your flat on your back” – Oberyn Martell
“Thank the Gods” – Tyrion Lannister
Happy Gilmore’s Happy Place
**Reference to pouring myself a very large-cougar-town style glass of wine. Enjoy!
Who wants wine after that episode? Well here’s something to get you in the mood!
K.Lo Confession Girl
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